ok......

This morning has been crap again... as usual lots of crying and the constant wimper and whinge that mikey doesn't seem to be able to let up on for even 20 seconds...
ugh!
white noise anyone!? yes please!

anyhow so after turning off anything i could like TV's, Annabelle, Zoe... shutting windows to block out traffic noise... Mikey's voice was not quite as overwhelming and i picked him up and took him to his bedroom as he refused to move anywhere and just howled louded.
shutting his door is probably the biggest trigger for him to yell louder... but i had to so that i could run upstairs and sit in Zoe's room with her and belle and have some level of peace for just 5 minutes before he came out of his room and found me.

I feel like i'm blind when mikey is carrying on. my senses go into overload and my hearing is compressed to the muffled sound of mikey's howling... without my hearing, i find it hard to get any barings on what i'm doing and where i'm going and it's so overwhelming...

I wish that he understood what i said and had the ability to BE QUIET for just a little bit... the constant noise drives me insane.

I can't get a break from him because he follows me everywhere, wants me to lay down with him in bed, wants me to watch TV with him... i have to feed the girls and get myself organised but it doesn't matter because he just wants to hold onto me...

The funny part of the morning... mikey kept asking for the big TV to be put on. the downstairs one was on ABC Kids but that didn't matter, he wanted to watch the one upstairs - it's a big 106cm plasma...
anyway... so i turn it on and find ABC Kids... nope not what he wants... so i put on ABC 2... nope.... Nickelodeon channel? nope.... Better homes and gardens as it was what i was watching beforee... nope... so i sit on the menu screen for a minute and say to him 'dude! what do you want!' and he pointed to the Tv... i'm like yes it's on what do you want to watch!? and he pointed again... grunting mind you so i have no idea what he's on about..
so i pick another channel and he's like nooo. so i go back to the menu screen and he's quietish again...
i established that it was the menu screen mikey wanted to watch.
the foxtel menu screen....

um... ok?!

so thats what is on the TV as we speak.
and subsequently... mikey is no longer carrying on.