Who Am I?

I am Kirsty.
I am a wife and mother in Wyoming, NSW.

My husband is Adam and we have 3 very attractive and kind children who we adore.
Michael is our eldest and was born in May 06.
Annabelle followed just 16.5 months later and was born in October 07
and the baby of our family Zoe was born in November 09.

This blog is about my son Michael and the day to day things i experience with him in my life.

Mikey was diagnosed with Moderate level Autism when he was 2 years old.
We had been watching him since he was 9 months old wondering why he didn't do what the other children his age did.
He seemed less energetic, much quieter and didn't learn to speak more than Mumma, Bubba and Gagga.

In May 07 my close friend Emily was telling me about her daughter maddi who was just 19 days older than Mikey and told me about Maddi recognising who mummy and daddy were and who her brothers were - she'd point to them when asked where blade or mummy was.
I remember feeling slighty warm in the head as i realised mikey didn't point and he didn't respond when i'd ask him to do anything - he never had even responded when i called his name.

we continued to watch him and when he was 18 months old i attempted to approach speech therapy but so many of my friends and family told me i was being silly, that mikey would develop when he hit 2 and that it was normal for boys to be slower than girls when i would ask them about their childs development milestones (most of my friends have daughters). But... after Mikey turned 2 and he still had few words - infact would say something once and then never say it again - i started to see the need for a speech evaluation.

I should point out that not anywhere in my mind did i think about Autism. i didn't know what it was and associated it with a rocking child who was completely distant - i since have found a child who is like my assumptins of autism and he was severe... but not alot of his mannerisms differed from my own darling boy.

My wonderful Mother in law who is an early childhood educater at the local primary school had been watching Mikey's development silently. She had been thinking of all the things which could explain his delay, be it lack of being read to, lack of being played with, needing more children around to mimic?
finally she cottoned onto Autism and begun analysing him each time she saw him.
We then moved to QLD.... 6 months later my inlaws visited for Annabelle's 1st birthday and my MIL noticed mikey had not progressed at all in 6 months. she told Adam what her feelings and thoughts were and we began to look at a few avenues for assessment.

So much of what MIL had said was making sense.
Mikey lined up cars, he often hid in cupboards, he played with doors for long periods of time watching the hinge as he opened and closed it, he was fascinated with buttons and switches, hated loud noises, often became irritated and frustrated with being out of routine, hated the shopping centre and he had so many typical idiosyncratic behaviours - like flicking of the fingers and flapping arms/hands, avoiding eye contact and speaking in total gibberish, running back and forth for no reason and spinning in circles. things i'd missed completely as he was my first child.

On December 17th 2008 - one day before we moved from QLD to NSW, we met with Dr Don Adsett in Toowoomba - a top peadiatrician in s/e queensland who specialised in childrens development disorders.
I expected him to tell us that we were reading into it, that mikey was normal, that he was perhaps suffering from a global development disorder and that a bit of therapy would fix the delay...
he called our name, we put the blocks which mikey had lined up across the waiting room back into the toy box and guided him in, showing him where to go.
as we walked into the small office it took us about 5 minutes to get mikey to sit down with us, as we did this unbenowns to us, the doctor observed.
when we were able to take a breath and give the doctor our attention, he said that there was no doubt in his mind that mikey had an autistic spectrum disorder.

it was like a slap in the face. again i felt that heat i mentioned before rise into the back of my head, but i was ok for now because i thought about the spectrum and that it does vary. my mind was thinking - ok Pervasive development disorder? high function aspergers? maybe?
as Dr Adsett showed us the chart of the ASD's and where they related to each other i gained a bit of understanding and he focussed a bit on PDD and so i was hopeful.... but then when he pointed to the bottom of the chart and the middle range of Autism and said - so Mikey is down here, my body went icy cold. he looked at me as i wiped the wetness that came into my eyes and asked if i was ok and then continued with what was to be done.
Adam expected Autism to a point but I was hoping for a better diagnosis. We both found it very hard to swallow.
As we left the office thinking - well... atleast now we know why he is the way he is.
it was relief to finally have an answer... but it was almost a year before we learnt how to deal with peoples questions, mikeys problems, the options for intervention, etc.... it was a long process.... but here we are just over that year and we're doing quite well.

I dont think i cried about it till the 2nd month... once the relief that yes we were right somethng was wrong wore off... the heaviness of the situation hit me and i cried for the life my little boy wouldn't have. to be honest i still cry when i am reminded that he struggles by just watching him or by talking to someone else.

Mikey currently attends speech therapy weekly and Occupational therapy is beginning again this month.

So far... mikey is about half his age developmentally, the gap keeps increasing but he never seems more than half his age.


now for mikey's strong points :D there are some yes :D

Mikey is a very bright young boy. He is extreemly good at puting puzzles together. he loves colours and making patterns. recently he drew his first pictures and they were cars :D very good cars too for a 3yo i thought. He has above average fine motor skills.
Mikeys personality is very sweet. he is a loving beautiful and considerate little boy which can be very unusual with Autism. He does the opposite of withdrawl and will be inappropriately affectionate with strangers - my friends find this endearing as he will sit with them, give them kisses and cuddles with very little effort on their half.
Mikey often gets a cookie or sandwich for someone else to share.

these characteristics are fading as he gets a bit older mentally and we get into the terrible twos... but i am excited to share these trials with you all.

Overall - life with mikey is rough. he doesn't sleep much, therefore neither do we, he has meltdowns daily and they are VERY hard to stop.. usually i have to work overtime to distract him with food or a video or something... anything that will work.
it's exhausting to try and cope with him and a newborn baby AND tell Bellie to stop copying him.... but at the end of each melt down comes a very sweet big hazel eyed boy with a bit smile on his face asking for a kiss or cuddle and theres not much else that exists beyond those moments.